Side Salad

Who Needs Weeds

2008-06-24T08:01:00.002-05:00

More grows in the garden than the gardener sows. - Spanish proverb

Surrounding my house exists woodchips where flower-life is planted to grow. The annoying thing about winter is that when spring rolls around, you find that other greeny plants have been growing in that plantless season - weeds. The other day my parents gave me the copious duty of tearing out those green devils from the soil they had embedded themselves in, not an easy task. I was out there for a good forty-five minutes in the merciless sun and still hadn't got done my designated section of weed digging (which was not that large, mind you).

There are a variety of parallels that I drew from my weeding experience (hey, you have to keep yourself occupied during such a boring activity!). I think first of all, one must recognize the seriousness of weeds in their own life. In plant-sense, weeds are green and deceptively look similar to their flower counterparts, but end up taking water and choking the flowers they are next too - similar in nature in the Christian walk. Some things in life appear to be harmless and may have good intentions at the get-go; however, later down the road a self-serving weed may bloom out of a simple seed. Furthermore (as I found out personally) the simplest blade of grass has roots buried deep, some not even directly beneath it.

When weeds of sin are fostered alongside good character, it becomes a conscious competition between human and Godly desire. To root out those wicked weeds, it will take patience, and even a very long time to fully get to the end of the weed. But when the weed is finally uprooted, how joyous is it! New growth is then possible where a deadened nature once thrived. Pray earnestly this day for the perseverance of treating weeds and for the want to give up the ground in your life that you've let weeds grow.

Pathways

2008-05-10T07:24:00.002-05:00

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and there are few that find it." Matt. 7:13-14

Church was packed yesterday, because it was the first night of the two-day Truth Project conference. There were no parking spots at church, so we as Andersons go to Plan B when such a scenario usually takes place: we park at Grandma's house. Grandma's house is across the basin and up the hill outside of church, so naturally, it's a pretty smart parking spot to utilize when parking trouble occurs. After the Truth Project, we made our way across the basin in the dark and frigid air. I was too cold to be traveling the same pace as the rest of my family, so I went ahead and reached the small hill and proceeded to climb up. About half-way through, however, I found that the ground had lost its stable quality and turned into a muddy mixture. Exasperated, I turned to tell everyone not to come this way because of the mud.

We as Christians are mandated with a similar call. We are no greater than every other human being; a chief difference distinguishing us and the world is the object of our worship. Being a Christian in part is the ability to acknowledge our sin; those outside of Christianity are captive to it and cannot see it. Having been saved by God's grace, we know the stakes of a life without Christ, the wide and broad path - however, not everyone in the human race is aware that faulty ground exists in that pathway. Having experienced and understanding the devastation of sin, who are we to not call back to the rest of the world of the danger ahead? We as Christians cannot keep bottled up about a disorder that leads to death, can we?

Pray that we as individuals gain the forthrightness to approach those on the unsure ground. We must warn those who rush toward doom unknowingly.

Sin and ZEN

2008-04-24T11:06:00.002-05:00

"Even the just may sin with an open chest of gold before them."

Oh gee, it's been like four or five months since my mp3 busted, that shoddy-manufactured device. Creative ZEN. I saw someone who had one and was amazed. Too amazed, unfortunately. I did further research and was drawn in. It had a couple interesting features that the iPod didn't have, including the ability to play wma music files in accordance to mp3s, an internal radio, voice recorder, and other utility freedoms. I just had to get it, and I bought it with my own money; 'twas giddy as a little boy on his first day of school when it finally came. And then it busted a month or two later. Very tragic, I was heartbroken. The symptoms started off small... for instance, I feared the worst when it froze up on me, but I managed to reset it and it returned to full working capacity - unfortunately it was only a taste of things to come. The freezings began to occur more and more frequently, resetting the darned device became a normal activity. This happened for a while until it reached the present state that it's in now: the touchpad is more or less broken, jeopardizing the ability to turn the player off or to even consciously choose songs.

I can connect so many of these ideas to sin. We as fallen human beings choose to sin because we are drawn to the added little features and freedoms that come with it in contrast to God's plan. Being drawn in, we enjoy it for a little while, until the effects of brokenness start to take shape. The consequences may start off as inperceptible to the victim, but they steadily increase in force. What became a small side-effect becomes a ruling factor of your life. This is where my Creative ZEN and my message does not fit in. There is no hope for redeeming my device; yet God in His infinite love and mercy has provided a way to become new once again, to have full functional ability if we come to him in repentance. Trust in God today and break free of the bondage of sin.

There are some things money can't buy: a quality iPod imitation and divine regeneration.

Math Ramble

2008-04-21T10:41:00.002-05:00

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally. ~Calvin Trillin

Today sucks. It's bad enough that it's a Monday. What makes it worse is that I probably failed my math test, bumping me out of B range after making significant progress in raising my grade. I must be doomed to C-age for math... I can't stand math. Or is it more than just math? It's Miss Fendley, yeah, I blame her. In fact, I was well prepared going into the test (sounds like the all-to-familiar physics exams) due to the homework I've been doing and examples in class. Yet it seems that on every cursed test, Fendley pulls another trick out of her sleeve onto the dastardly white piece of paper that I'm supposed to know answers to. Doesn't work that way. Sorry Fendley, but if you want people to consistently do good on your tests, perhaps you should shake off your mentality and assumption that we know exactly what you're talking about, and actually do what you are mandated to do which is teach. I'm not in the lowest math (which the majority of the school is in, and what a horrible program that is), I'm in 80's. Normally, I should feel pretty good about myself, but today, I feel dumber than a bag of beans (if beans in a bag equates stupidity).

I wrote this poem this morning... rough draft...

Error

I’m the choke you cannot swallow
I’m the moldy marshy-mallow
I’m the rotten in the pear
I’m the split-ends in your hair

I’m the fart that can’t be silenced
I am entropy and violence
I’m the words you can’t replace
I’m the pimples on your face

I’m the poem not complete
I am failure, sound defeat
I’m the sandy-bar and shoal
I’m the piece of gum you stole

I am headache, I am hunger
I am lightning light and thunder
I am fever, I am chilly
You can never, ever kill me

Saturday In The Treehouse

2008-04-19T15:53:00.002-05:00

Subtle Signs

2008-04-15T10:41:00.002-05:00

Do people just get lucky? Or is it possible there are no coincidences?

Going to church for youthgroup two days ago, the parking lot was fuller than usual. Apparently there were a lot of older folk interested in "Hymn Sing" that night... I parked at the place where I always had a guaranteed spot: Grandma's house (which was just up the hill from the church.

After youthgroup, I walked across the basin, up the hill, and got into my car. I turned on the car lights, or what I thought were the car lights.. I guess I still need to distinguish between those and the windshield wipers... I got it the second time. I put on Thousand Foot Krutch and proceeded down the road away from my grandparents house. At the stop sign, I finally noticed it - a note underneath one of my windshield wipers, telling me to come inside Grandma's house for some popcorn. How it went unnoticed (even after I accidentally turned my windshield wipers on!) I don't know. I guess awareness is another thing I need to work on..

Sometimes, a lot of times, God tries to get our attention using subtle signs. The hard thing is seeing them. Sometimes it's very easy to see that something is of God, and sometimes, we can get so absorbed in ourselves and in the moment that we fail to see God is trying to get our attention, waving at us right in front of our faces.

Seeing God is not always easy, and I've failed to see Him the moment He tries to get my attention, only to realize later it was Him all along. We as Christians should meditate on God's Word daily to increase our awareness of those subtle signs on our windshields.

We Are Worms

2008-04-11T07:07:00.003-05:00

It rained a lot yesterday.

I was soaked from walking outside Hersey's doors to my bus, the wind whipping up rain right into my face and my once-dry clothes. By the time I made it to Bus 1, there was little to distinguish me from the falling water around me. It pretty much rained the rest of the evening, just a non-stop of excess H2O to weaken one's spirits and dampen one's clothes.

This morning, walking down my driveway towards my bus stop, I couldn't help but notice the limitless amounts of worms strewn in every which way across the blacktop. We as humans are those worms. After the storm, after endless amounts of pain and uprooting, many of us find ourselves scattered across the wayside, in no purposeful direction. Some curse God for the hardship. Others go into depression. All of us experience loss. In an era where comfort is indulged in more so than in past history, being shaken from our dirt (still goin' on with the worm analogy) is, well, discomforting. Pain may be given to emphasize the unsettled sin in our lives or simply serve as a means to trust our core strength. But whatever the pain may be, we can trust in God to be our final peace.

"Come to Me, all you are weak and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest." Matt. 11:28

Northwest Community Hospital Career Trek pt. 2

2008-04-10T08:10:00.002-05:00

so I was supposed to turn in my form before yesterday... because she had no clue I was coming haha... thankfully though, there was one extra spot because somebody dropped out at the last minute..

Northwest Community Hospital Career Trek

2008-04-09T07:10:00.002-05:00

no school today! at least, I so hope not. today is the career trek to North Community Hospital... and I'm not sure if I was supposed to turn in my field trip form before today... and if I'm not going, I'm stuck in dressed up clothes all day... which isn't the worst because I have the first draft of a four page paper due today (which isn't done) and a history test covering three chapters (which I'm not prepared for). so I'll be crossing my fingers (if that really does anything anyways...)

have you ever noticed how useless those pockets are on jeans? you know, the side pockets that are normally used, there are those tinier, smaller pockets just above them... has anyone seriously used them for anything? I used them to house my mints over the weekend - the first time in my entire life I used those useless fabric receptacles...

such a useless part..

Animal Rights Over Human Rights?

2008-04-07T10:34:00.003-05:00

This past weekend I went with my family (minus my college-living sister) to check out Cedarville and Taylor University for possible enrollment for college. After we looked at Cedarville (Ohio), we drove down to a lodge in Kentucky where we stayed the night. In the morning, I found this stray cat in the parking lot who seemed to be a regular prowler. I love cats. I chased it down, made some of those enticing cat noises and succeeded in making the cat come next to me. And come next to me it did - it skipped all greeting formality and proceeded to rub it's fur on me as it circled around my crouching figure. This went on for quite a while before I tried to tempt him to follow me back to my lodge room (hey, the cat was cute!), but then I gave up because it turned out to be too much work (now I'm glad the cat didn't come in...)

Before we left the lodge after breakfast, I found the cat again sitting at the brink of the forrest, while I was carrying my bags to the car. We went through the rubbing procedure again, and then I found some crackers I had taken for the trip and gave him some. Such a cute cat. Now, I am not allergic to cats - but my theory is that the cat carried with it out of the forrest every imaginable allergenic possible... hence the cat's itchiness and wanting something to rub off on. The next three hours or so in the car was a snot-infested Hell. My nose would not stop running, my eyes were extremely irritated - quite a difference for a guy who doesn't really experience allergies. But the fact of the matter, I would still go through the same cat encounter again, if only for the love of the cat.

But isn't that sort of stupid? Get all snot-nosed and eye-irritated again for a stupid cat? But that's how a lot of people are toward their pets/animals. We've all seen commercials of people talking to their dogs, or serving cat food on a pillow, and that mindset seems to take a definite form in society. I've seen dogs wear jackets outside so they don't get too cold. I've seen dogs with shoes on for walk-wear. And we are all aware of kids dressing up their cats with bows and ribbons.

In the fundamental state, all of those things are really fine... the point of no-return, however, is when those things soar above the needs of other human beings. Too often do we neglect to acknowledge our parents when we step through the door from school, while not forgetting to greet the house dog. Too often do we habitually take the dog out to pee and not hold the door open as a point of courtesy. And with today's legal system, it is becoming a lot easier to pay more of accidentally killing an animal than it is for killing another human. We all have duties and responsibilities, we all are charged with taking care of the Earth, but if our duty to our fellow man is compromised in the process, what kind of society will emerge? One of kindness, compassion, consideration, and love? Not towards humans.

But then again, with the assumption that evolution is correct, we are all just stupid animals. Survival of the fittest would explain a lack of consideration to your neighbor - but that does not explain increasing devotion towards animal-life. Interesting.

Thanks be to a God who would go through immense pain, pain that surpasses one had by the cat, in order to liberate me from my sin. Devotion towards a soul-less being and love for a hopeless sinner. Some things cannot be easily explained...

The Afters

2008-04-03T11:07:00.002-05:00

the first four lines popped into my head yesterday. I'm not sure if this poem has reached it's full potential yet...

The Afters

Everyone leaves when the party’s over
Everyone quits when the game is done
Everyone sleeps when the day is finished
When the dark expanses replace the sun
And I’m left here with unfinished conversations
And the floating thought bubbles that drift here in space
I’m left to clean up all the jokes that were given
And deal with the smile still left on my face
And when everyone stops when the dancing is through,
I have to vacuum up all the lingering laughter
And dispose of all the lines that have already been used
‘Cuz I’m the only one who’s still standing here after
But if another person stays, I won’t have to tidy up
And maybe I can express all I really want to say
And the words worth your while won’t have to go to waste
We can make more of the befores
If on the afters
You stay

Stupidity > Smartness, Stupidity = Smartness

2008-04-02T10:40:00.002-05:00

I was just thinking the other day about the absurdity regarding teenagers and how they value your education. It seems to be the cultural norm today that being stupid rocks. Somehow, without visible announcement, the disdain for being intellectually inferior has been turned on the smart people. Smart people are the geeks, the nerds, the losers. We were all lined up in gym yesterday to get picked for indoor soccer. Ladies were supposed to be picked first, one of the captains thought it meant "first pick" and picked a guy the second time around. Mr. Vernon, my gym teacher made some comment about "chivalry" and the girl next to me wonders out loud, "What's that?!" And I'm thinking, are you serious, really serious? I am horrified at how much educational drive has dropped (and I myself am only a "dying man" speaking to dying men; I am not angelic or higher up than anyone, yet I recognize the current state of affairs that I have fallen into as well).
But why is that so? My theory is that we as teenagers keep ourselves preoccupied with lesser things to the extent of them filling the place where education must rightfully sit. Teenagers now adays are too busy filling themselves up with immediate happiness and individual gain, whether it be drugs, smokes, sex, or what have you. But that's the next generation for you. American morality has been compromised for personal pleasure, and the resulting people to carry our country forward are inept to keep our nation the strong one it has been. Embrace yourself. Indulge in what makes you happy. It is now smart to be stupid.

The Application

2008-03-30T16:25:00.003-05:00

Gypsy trip was sweet this year. I enjoyed thoroughly the time away from school to relax and soak in the rays and at the same time growing spiritually. The devotion book that accompanied us during that week dealt with the respectable sins in our life, and it was through that book that I was able to witness areas of my life in the trip that fell under respectable sin. Also I learned more about what God considers sin (such as discontentment) that I was guilty of. I am convicted about being a stalemated Christian, too caught up in the comforts I've been blessed with. I engage in things that bring me direct happiness, and extrapolate more in place of actual work - I am a lazy person. As school starts tomorrow, I pray increasingly that my focus becomes more direct and that I do not put away what tools I have in order to better fight worldliness.

I filled out a bracket for March Madness for the first time this year... I totally neglected it over Gypsy, but it looks like Memphis is going all the way as I predicted...

Teenage Drama

2008-03-18T12:36:00.003-05:00

I haven't updated in a while. Today is a terrible school day. I took an AP US test covering two chapters I haven't read... I'm three chapters behind, gotta get the study guides done.... soon? I got a physics test eighth period and I usually blank on those... no surprise if that test doesn't make it on my refrigerator door as an emblem of achievement. I did bad on my math quiz.. I blame Fendley's teaching as always. I have to type up the analysis (by the end of the class) for an article regarding a new law to give movies that show smoking an adult rating. My portfolio for the class has been completed but not turned in.. I need a three hole punch to accurately display the papers we did over the "Toulmin" unit. All day tomorrow I get to take a practice ACT... the worst part of it is that I'm indifferent.

Can someone sing "Brink of Disaster" by Mae?

Can't Sleep

2008-02-27T10:44:00.002-06:00

so here I am in the library... I came to sleep, I am so terribly exhausted after the first three periods of the day - especially in Fendley's Class O' Fun where we spent ten minutes plugging in different values to manipulate the parametric graph on our calculators... yay math. It's too hard to sleep, I should have brought a pillow. The guy to my right got a crazed look on his face when he observed me trying to get in a comfortable sleeping position. I'm sure other people would notice me if I fell asleep, this section of the library is full - I would probably be subject to all manner of torture... second period today, the Master of Muffins brought a banana wrapped in wax paper... and opened it when Borghoff was "playing history." It was so loud when he tried unraveling the main course of the feast that day... everyone in the class heard and tried ever so much not to laugh but failed miserably... thankfully I got it under audible control...

Hopefully dodgeball will be a definite option in gym next period... I need something to wake me up...

Goodness and Evil

2008-02-24T17:18:00.003-06:00

I understand that it is dangerous to extract "wisdom" from certain books other than the Bible to add to one's philosophy; it has been especially said for the Star Wars franchise, because of the eastern religion being taught - yet I could not help but understand more of myself in relation to God by reading "Traitor" which is the, oh I don't know, tenth book in the series Star Wars: The New Jedi Order. The whole book is about Jacen Solo and his journey to find out more about himself, and truths in embracing "the Force" as a Jedi. It wasn't so much Jacen's teaching that "enlightened" me, but the teaching of Jacen's impromptu (this could take more explaining than I want) master Vergere. okay so maybe I can't right now think of the concrete connection between Christianity and Star Wars that I was thinking about earlier... a lightbulb sort of clicked on in my head in Jacen's whole pondering of what is the dark side and what is a Jedi and on and on... and I just got to thinking: we as Christians are both heros and villains (this might sound elementary and borderline on from here on out, but it's a new spin I believe I've learned). You see, lately I've just been beating myself over the head wondering how God could use me, how could He accept me because of the sin that seems to never be avoided. Realization: because of the Holy Spirit inside of me, I have the will to do good although I struggle with evil. It is not solely the actions that make you good or evil - it is the driving force that causes you to make those actions. Granted, we being humans are naturally pathetic-enduring-righteous-doers; but God welcomes us back because of our faith in Him, He sees our potential for greatness...

that is only a half-breaths version of what I wanted to say... I don't know if it made sense or if it is doctrinally sound... but it did help me finish off a poem I've been meaning to write.

The Hero And The Villain

There's a legal-thin line between the hero and the villain
Between selfishness and saving, between capturing and killin'
Differences in subtleness between the mask and cape
Between ambitions we give into and the actions that we make
Between principle and profit, between one's love versus one's lust
Between what is vengeful and vindictive, and what is virtuous and just
Between the hero and the villain, between character and crime
I find the line dividing
Is not so easily defined

Awkward..

2008-02-23T07:20:00.002-06:00

two days ago on Thursday, I stayed after school with my friend to make a visual aid for the Huck Finn discussion to take place the day after. When that was finished, I went on the late bus home at four o'clock. I always tell the bus driver to drop me off at the two intersecting streets next to my house but somehow he's memorized where I live and drops me off right in front of my house... I don't know if I should be creeped out or thankful... I'll go with the latter. Anyway, on the ride home, there was a feather sticking out of my jacket, so I pulled at it.... it turned out to not be a single feather, but a clump of feathers (I have a down jacket). That was quite unexpected... I absent-mindedly blew the feathers from my fingertips and they went flying in the direction I blew them, one in the girl's hair in the seat in front of me. Feeling bad, I reached over to retrieve the stray feather from her hair but instead of grabbing feather, I grabbed hair instead... I immediately turned faced down in my seat because I was so embarassed..

Great Day, Bad Day

2008-02-03T22:36:00.001-06:00

worst driving experience ever.

so it was after Steven Levon's superbowl party, now two weeks ago. First and foremost, however, I got lost on the way to his house... and it didn't help that I was very low on gas already. After a little street searching, however, I was able to get back on the right road and to his house in good time. The party only housed a handful of people, and we did everything from Candyland and Sequence to Fifa Soccer and game watching (of course). hahaha what a game it was, thank goodness the Giants won, I cannot STAND the Patriots... so it had started to snow during the game and was still snowing outside when I brushed the snow off of the car. Me, having minimal snow driving, didn't panic because Levon's house was fairly close to mine.. yet the journey home would prove more perilous than would initially appear.

I missed the road I was supposed to turn on, and bright-brained me decided to take the road I was already on to see where it went. Bad idea... I was going the wrong way, and realized it. The road lines of separation were indistinguishable, and I pulled into a parking lot (next to LaSalle Bank) to turn around. Coming out of the parking lot, I didn't know where to turn though, because the snow covered everything, so I decided to reverse and find a better way out.. bad idea. I backed into a wall of snow that covered the driver's side of the car. Okay, no problem, I have gas in the car - oh wait, remember how I didn't have hardly enough gas going to Steve's house? The gas is now in the red zone and that emergency-your-almost-out-of-gas light is on. So I sit there and pray for a miracle... after useless flooring of the vehicle in both forward and reverse, I found out that if I switch gears really quickly I can rock my way out of the snow bank... and that's what I did after much deliberation.

I escaped the parking lot and turned onto the road that I hoped would bring me home... not so, I was going towards Buffalo Grove... so I pulled a U-turn in the middle of the street... bad idea number 2. The U-turn was made with so much perfection at first, but then the excess snow on the ground made my car slide, and I ended up sliding into the opposing snow bank, the back of my car jutting into oncoming traffic. I put on my hazard lights and tried to back out (which was really a bad idea because then people got the impression I was stuck, yet I tried to reverse onto the street... whoops...) and after a time was successful (at both getting my car unstuck and at not getting hit!) So I went the opposite direction and finally found Thomas Road that brought me and my car back in one piece, a thirty minute journey on what should have been five minutes of driving.

Poem -> Weapons of Word War

2008-01-21T14:01:00.000-06:00

Snow Fever this year wasn't as fun and spiritual as last years' but I still had a blast. Me, Kevin Friske, Kyle Skarstein, and Justin McFarlin had the privilege of having our cabin in the nurses room... so all weekend we were the acting nurses and we had more than one experience of people who desperately needed our expertise.

anyway, I wrote this poem today... had the ending a long time ago but no beginning or middle. It was inspired by a tension in my own life caused by one of my friends who isn't speaking to me. Logically, I don't know if this poem is sound; I know yelling and shouting and cussing does a world of hurt to the person it's aimed at.. but at least you are speaking to them. Sure, if you don't talk to them at all, you eliminate those screamed words... but you eliminate the entire talk process altogether as well, making, in my mind, a worse case.

Weapons of Word War

Words assault the ears in arrows and spears

Shouted and routed to disarm and destruct

Felling defenses by yelling offenses

Spitting out statements to sever and cut

Words used in war tend to rupture in roars

Muttering missiles remarked for the chest

Screaming of sass careening to crash

In a ploy to destroy, if not doom in distress

Emphatic exclamations wreck and ruin relations

Words loud and lively bend the bonds until broken

But of the words used in war, none are as vicious and violent

As the words said unspoken,

Subtle and silent

Finals and Fever

2008-01-18T12:36:00.001-06:00

they say I've done pretty good in regards to my wisdom teeth coming out.

it's been a week and a day and the swelling has significantly subsided... the first days were the worst... I had to tie bags of ice to the sides of my cheeks via two long pairs of socks in order to stop the swelling. vikatin was the drug I was on all that weekend haha and I still feel a little drugged. but I'm thankful to God that my gums are still hangin in there (and that I haven't lost that much wisdom in the process)

Finals. Finally are over for this first semester of what is supposed to be the hardest year in highschool. a testimony to that hardship would be the D I received as my overall score in Pre-Calc. I'm so ashamed of myself for this. it'll go on my "permanent record" and as a result, now eliminated lingering promises of a better education, contrasted to what I have now. There is no one to blame but myself (but secretly I still hold that Miss Fendley deserves some). What should be learned from this is exactly what is asked: learning. Changing the past can't be done, but I can change the future because of it, and I hope that this failure is bad enough to jolt me to become a more assertive student.

yesterday, I went shopping with my mom to pick up long underwear for Snow Fever this year... the high is supposed to be -1! after getting all my warm garb, we got in line... and waited for at least twenty minutes... there were three stations at Khol's... and all three were dominated with the worst casheer women I've experienced thus far in my life. On the one side, there was the Indian lady who was discussing life with her fellow natives who were checking out. And in my line was an obese white lady who kept on asking questions to the person who was checking out... and then there was something wrong with the lady's gold card and the casheer was on the phone getting help... the other white lady casheer had a foreign accent... I didn't really pay any attention to her - the important thing is that we went nowhere fast! Finally, we switched lines and the Indian lady checked out our stuff, and we hurried out the door, but not before the alarm went off on the sensors hahahahaha. So we go back and the Indian lady runs our stuff through again and there is no problem............ so we leave and the sensors go off again but we keep going...

I still have to finish packing, the bus leaves for Snow Fever at two and check in is at one fifteen. Chow.

Wisdom Teeth Delay

2008-01-10T12:57:00.000-06:00

I'm typing from school... I shouldn't be in school though.

Before Christmas break, I had found out that I was to have all four of my impacted wisdom teeth taken out. That was scheduled before I went to Florida; but, after talking it over with the oral surgeon, found out that having my teeth yanked out prior to vacation would be bad.. I would be in Florida and if something went wrong after the surgery, there wouldn't be any easy access to him - and looking for another oral surgeon in Florida wouldn't be a smart move. So, my wisdom teeth were scheduled to be taken out after I came back. Fair enough. Then my mom told me that I wasn't going to have my teeth taken out that Thursday before break ended but the Thursday after break. So here it is, Thursday afternoon, 1:00 pm and my wisdom teeth extraction was to be taken place 11:30 am this morning, after second period. However, I received a note 1st period saying that my wisdom teeth appointment has just been moved to tomorrow. I'm mad, rightfully so. If all had gone according to plan, I would be at home, away from school for most of today and all of tomorrow. It would have worked out brilliantly too because it was late arrival so the time change enabled me to leave after 2nd period. But now, having my teeth operation tomorrow, 11:30 am would be during my gym class, 4th period. Not to mention that I know will be eligible to take a Spanish test 1st period tomorrow...

Why can't things go as planned?

Poem -> Fountain of Old

2008-01-07T21:08:00.000-06:00

I thought to myself... what if the Fountain of Youth's name didn't correspond to the affects of those who drink it, but to it's own present state? That's what influenced me to write this poem.

Fountain of Old

The fountain of youth isn't young anymore
The piping is clogged, the water won't pour
It's crumbled and cracking, more dead than divine
It's rusty and dusty and garnished in grime
It's dingy and dirty, decrepit and dried
The fountain's been flushed out, has faltered, is fried
And if an aged searcher drinks the few drops left older...
The poor aging soul would grow
Much, much older

R.I.P. Uncle Buddy

2008-01-06T21:39:00.000-06:00

I hate death. Not so much the thought of dying, but the sort of things death brings. I can't stand wakes for one. It's bad enough seeing other people you know in tears-- it's worse seeing someone you've known for a long time in a box not breathing, and looking like some maniquin(sp?) in a clothes store, expressionless, distant. My great uncle Buddy's wake was this evening; he had died three days ago. I honestly don't know how all of the old folk there could cope with his death... he was a WWII veteran and there was this whole ceremony in which each soldier stepped up to the casket and saluted in what would be "the last salute" to my uncle. Just watching the retired men individually pay homage to my relative had me nearly crying uncontrollably. In fact I didn't cry at all tonight- it would have looked stupid considering all the old people who had known my uncle (over thirty years I heard one guy say) held their own emotions in check, and here is me this scrawny boy who's known him less in the scope of everyone there and he cries like a baby..

I hate death. One of my best friends died in sixth grade. Andy Domitro. He and his family were picking up his brother from college. On the highway coming back, the car veered off the road and all of the family, save Andy's brother were killed. It was the first time death was truly exposed to me.. it was a Sunday, I had the chore of watering the flowers and I got inside and my parents called me into their room and told me to sit. When they told me what had happened, I just sat their and tears began to form. I didn't understand death. I don't understand death. All I understand is that when death is exposed, it makes its appearance with tears, loneliness, and heartache.

I hate death.